You Still Have A Place in My Heart
by sudoku
Summary: Five years later after he was assumed dead, Stephen went to find Christine to find out the status of their relationship. Somehow he poured his heart out including his guilts to her. Major Endgame spoilers.


-Unbetaed and not a native speaker so please kindly point out any mistakes  
-Warning: Major Endgame spoilers, language.

* * *

Stephen looked up from the menu to secretly stare at Christine. She looked great in her green dress. Well, she looked great in anything. He didn't realize how much he missed her until now. "Is this place OK? If not, we can go to somewhere else."

"Here is fine. You know that I always like Chinese food. Although can you afford it?"

"I've got some discount here. I've helped the owner here before." The Cloak that had disguised herself as a red scarf over his blue shirt slapped him for being too honest. "Stop it. I don't need to show off to Christine. She knows that I'm poor." The Cloak slapped him one more time before crossing its two end and turned its knot away from Stephen.

She took her right hand to squeezed his left hand. "That'll never stop being weird.

Don't worry. I'll always be your friend no matter what your financial condition is. That's why I worried in the first place. If you've got discount, I guess it's not too bad unless you're bad at math." She giggled. "That reminded me of your attempt of first date after you joined the cult. You left me three times because of emergencies but you brought me a ring. You got more exhausted each time you returned."

Stephen would never forget that anything that had to do with Christine even without his eidetic memory. "Yeah, sorry about that. We've never had our second date afterward. Both of our schedules were hectic. Then, …"

"Then you died. And five years later you're back now.. Now I'm four years older than you. I can't really hold it against you." Stephen didn't dare to comment about that he actually had something to do with it. "So people returning from the dead now. That's all super strange. Sorry for the accidental pun."

"Yeah, it's even strange for my standard but that's my life now. It doesn't have to be yours though." He looked up at her asking the unvoiced question about their status.

"Oh, Stephen. I'm so sorry. I thought you knew with you being a all knowing wizard." She showed off a small ruby glittering on her left ring finger.

He closed his eyes briefly and drew a a deep breath. "Master of Mystic Arts. I'm not sure and I don't think I've the right to ask. We've never got back together after my accident." He should've guessed. He didn't deserve Christine. Of course she would marry someone much better than him. He could have checked that using the Time Stone back on Titan but he just wanted to make sure she lived. He didn't look much further than that to see whether they would get back together. It was not about him. He forced himself to smile. "Congratulation! Is he a doctor?"

Her smile was more genuine. "Thank you. No, he is a social worker. I met him when I arranged the meetings for sick kids who lost their parents when they suddenly turned to dust. The irony was we bonded because I talked about my friends who had disappeared including you and he told me about his sister who had disappeared as well. He actually reminded me of you as he also really loved, well, loves his sister. We clicked and the rest was history."

Stephen swallowed the big lump in his throat. "I'm sure he is a great guy. I'm happy for you, Christine. I really am." His smile was more genuine this time. He didn't lie. Christine had such a kind heart. She deserved her happy ending.

"Thanks again. You don't need to keep complimenting him. I know you've learned to be more humble but you don't need to overdo it. Let's talk about something else. How are you? I meant besides your cult thing." She looked up to see the waiter was eyeing them. "I think we should order now."

Stephen let her order. He usually could eat whatever she ate. She ordered Hot and Sour Soup, Lo Mein Noodle, Kung Pao Chicken, Sweet and Sour Pork, Mango Pudding, and Soy Bean Pudding plus vanilla ice cream for him.

After the waiter left, he asked,"Are more people coming? Why did you order so much?"

"It's for you, Stephen. You've lost so much weight. You've always been slender but this skin over bone thing is too much. Are you under a lot of stress? What am I asking? Of course, you're under a lot of stress with your cult thing. Not to mention it's super dangerous. " She shuddered as she remembered the last time she needed to treat him. "I always worry about you."

He knew he needed to let her go as she was married to someone else now but it was not easy whenever she said something like that. "You don't need to worry about that. I'm not that easy to kill." That was technically true as long as he didn't choose to sacrifice himself first. Well, she really didn't need to know about that.

"Really?" She scrunched her nose. "The last time I remember you were dead for five years which was the reason I moved on and married someone else." She closer her mouth as she realized what she just said.

He looked at her wistfully. "So do you think we had a chance if I didn't die?" So at least his feelings for her were not one sided.

"We could, we might." She shrugged. "I don't know. It's too complicated. After your accident, you were rude and self destructive. Afterward, you went missing and came back dressed weirdly with a stab wound in your chest. Then you got back up as soon as I finished operating on you to fight again. Then you brought your friend who then died. You were mourning. You were apologizing to me. I realized you had changed 180 degrees at that time. I thought we might have a chance but we needed to work out so much shits before we could get back together. I gave you some space. You were then too busy doing more weird cult things to protect this dimension or whatever. Then you died. For _five years_! What was I supposed to think? People usually don't return from being dead. So I moved on." Her eyes were brimming with tears now.

He realized his hands shook more than usual. He tried to still them. After a few attempts, he still didn't succeed. It didn't matte.r Perhaps she wouldn't notice. He went to squeeze her hands. "I'm sorry. I should've realized I've put you through so much. I didn't mean to. It was part of the job hazard."

She took our her right hand from his hold and used the napkin to wipe her tears. "I understand, Stephen. It's part of your job as a superhero now. Have you fought along with the Avengers? Do you have Thor's number?"

Stephen couldn't help but smile. Women seemed to always fantasize about Thor. "Well, I did fight with them once or twice. I don't think Thor has a phone. I've actually _asked _him about that. He played Fortnite though." He thought it would be too cruel to mention that Thor had beer guts now. Let her have her fantasy. With Asgardian physique, Thor might get back in shape in no time. He envied Thor for that aspect.

"How about Captain America? Have you ever shaken hands with him? Or perhaps getting his autograph?"

"Well, I've met him twice. Sorry, I haven't got the chance to get an autograph." He didn't tell her that he actually saved Cap's life by bringing all superheroes and wizards on Thanos. And his second meeting was at Tony's memorial. He tried not to think about his part in his death but he was out of luck.

"Were you there when Iron Man died? I was so surprised when it happened as it was so sudden. Poor Ms Potts and her daughter. But she is a strong woman and now also a superhero. She will thrive and move on."

The dam that walled his guilt that he had been harboring broke. It was his turn to break down. He couldn't help to stop the tears that kept appearing. The Cloak transformed back into a cloak and hugged him tightly.

Christine stood and walked up to him. She let his head dropped onto her stomach and hugged him. She hoped the gesture was platonic enough because she didn't want anyone including herself to take this the wrong way. "It's OK, Stephen. I don't know that you were close to him."

Hearing that made him sob harder. He was not close to Tony, at least by the normal standard. Technically they only spent around a day together in total. But he had seen through so many futures and he had gotten to know Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Thor, and the rest of the Avengers and heroes really well. He felt closer to them than they to him. In their eyes, he was just that weird guy who did magic and predicted the future. Without knowing the future, it was already hard for him to sacrifice anyone. It was even harder when he had known the person well enough as if they were already friends for years.

Wong had helped him to paint the big picture. He even accepted it because logically he also had similar thought process. That was why he chose the only way to win in the first place. But his heart and his head didn't always agree.

He needed to control himself. He shouldn't let Christine worry. He needed to reign in his feelings. He just needed to think of something else. He needed to create a spell to finding the other missing pairs of socks. That would come in handy. In about three seconds, he had already found a way to do it. That actually cheered him up a bit. At least he had stopped crying. He just realized he had leaned in on Christine and wet her dress. He leaned away and used a spell to clean her dress.

She stepped back, gasped, then smiled. "That will be handy for doing laundry. Thank you. Are you OK now? Sorry, didn't know you two were close." She went back to her chair.

He wasn't sure whether he should tell her about his role in Tony's death. It was still too raw for him. He saved Tony only to let him die five years later. But there was no other way. He had looked for so many futures, millions of future. He had tried his best.

Christine sensed his hesitation. "You don't need to tell me anything. But if you somehow blame yourself, please don't."

He "How could you not blame me? I asked him to sacrifice himself."

"You asked him?! I don't really know Tony Stark. From what I know, he will never do anything people ask him to. He only does, did, what he personally thought was right. So if he did something, that was because of his own will, not yours unless you voodood him but I doubted it. You didn't voodoo him, did you?"

He shook his head.

"I thought so. I don't know Tony Stark but I know you. You can be a pain in the ass but you are not the type of person who will harm others intentionally. Even when you were that jerk doctor who rejected patients, you still gave some suggestions to other doctors while you insulted them. You're always a doctor at heart. So I really doubt you would want to sacrifice anyone. Unless it's a thing for your cult."

"We don't usually do any human or animal sacrifices."

She nodded. "Good. Otherwise, we cannot be friends anymore."

He perked up at that. Christine still wanted to be friends with him even though he had done horrible things. "But how about I saved his life five years ago and told him there was only one way to win out of 14 millions possibilities. Yeah, before you asked, I used my magic to look into the futures. Then I died without explaining to him because if I explained about the future, it might affect other people then it wouldn't happen. Then I came back five years later as I predicted. Don't look at me like that. I know it's weird. He asked me for confirmation whether we were in the winning future but I still didn't tell him until the very last moment he needed to sacrifice himself in order to win."

"You're always such a drama queen. You set the stage there but Tony Stark was a super genius. Although he didn't know your exact plan, he knew that he needed to survive in order to win. I don't know how you asked him to sacrifice himself but as I said earlier, he was not the type who would do anything which was not his own idea. It was him who wanted to sacrifice himself. You didn't make him. It is still distressing that you needed to prompt someone to sacrifice himself. Is this Game of Thrones?"

"I saw there was no other way." He somehow felt he needed to defend himself in front of Christine despite agreeing with her.

"I won't argue with you about that.I know you. If you said there was no other way, there was no other way. You're the kind of person who always try to find loopholes. You always tried to find some new innovative ways to operate. The fact that we could sit here and talk peacefully means that your plan worked. I know it sucks but even as a doctor we can't save everyone. What we can do is to heal as many as possible and alleviate the suffering of those we can't heal. I know you always think this way even when you were being a dick."

He was stunned at her insight so he ignored her jibe, After all, he could be a dick. Christine never ceased to amaze him. Too bad she was not his. He quickly killed that thought "Thanks, I guess. I meant what I did was dickish but I didn't see other alternative."

"I believe in you. Stephen. If that's the reason you are not eating, don't! Punishing yourself won't bring him back. All you need to do is to live well. And don't get stabbed or maimed or any of the variations I know it's an impossible ask for someone as impulsive as you. But at least plan properly first and don't run into dangers headfirst."

She seemed to think of him as the Daredevil. He sniffed indignantly. He had planned the whole thing to win against Thanos. But she had a point. If he had the time, he would plan. Most of the time he didn't have the time to plan and just needed to think on his feet. As the result he got stabbed or choked or slammed or any of the variations. Well, he still lived at least for now so her accusation was baseless.

"I know you think that you were being careful but remember when you ran into my ER after getting stabbed."

"I didn't run into danger on purpose that time. I literally got thrown into danger by an explosion." It was true for his first time. He was not an active participant then.

"Well,. as soon as I sew you up, you got up and ran into dangers again. Don't tell me you were unwilling that time."

"If I didn't do it, a lot of people would've died."

"I know, Stephen. But my point still stands. You need to take a good care of yourself. Don't be too harsh on yourself. You're always your own worst critic even back during your neurosurgeon day. Although I'm already married, we can always be friends like we used to be. I'm sure Glen will be happy to finally able to meet you."

So that was her husband's name. Well, at least she was still his friend. It was enough for him. He thought she would hate him after what he did but as usual Christine's no non-sense approach was what he needed."I'd like to meet the lucky guy too." He needed to learn to like the guy but if Christine loved him, then he couldn't be too bad. But again, Christine used to love him and he was not a great guy so perhaps she was not the best judge of character. He needed to do some background check on Glen just in case.

Christine looked at her. "Stephen, stop brooding." He was lucky she couldn't read his mind. "Our food has finally come. Their service is rather slow here."

"But you'll love the taste."

"I hope so. And Stephen, you're a great guy, I know you don't think so but I am not that bad judge of characters like you think. I think…"

So perhaps she could read his mind or she knew him too well. "I'd never think that of you."

"Liar. And what I wanted to say before you rudely interrupted me is I'm sure you will find a great person who will love you and accept you as you are. She will see the goodness in you. I'm sure you will love her that much as well."

Stephen really doubted that. The longest relationship he had was with Christine and they broke up two years later. Christine understood him more than he understood himself. She didn't take any of his shit and would tell him in his face what she thought. He respected her for that. She was also such a caring and compassionate person. Not to mention intelligent. He highly doubted he would meet someone like her again. He didn't want to ruin the mood though. "Thank you. For both of our sake, I hope I won't bother you too much anymore."

"You're always welcome to bother me as long as you don't do it by dying or about to die. Let's eat."

* * *

**Notes:**

-The second to last paragraph is what makes me like Stephen and Christine relationship. I think their relationship is the most realistic written in the MCU. They still cared for each other but they didn't get back together. She didn't readily forgive him and he actually apologized to her and tried to be better. They might get back together in the sequel. This story is just what if. Besides, the sequel is supposed to introduce Clea, who is supposed to be the love of Stephen's life in the comics. So this story is one possibility why he was not with Christine.  
-The date mentioned by Christine was in A Date To Remember.  
-Positive feedback and comments are welcome.


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